Alternate Title: A glance at the complexities behind wearing a “fake face” and “playing nice”
Perhaps it’s only natural that since we live in a society, we all adapt ourselves in some way to account for others. Of course, one example of this is the “fake face” concept I mentioned in my recent identity post. But, that’s just one practice of many. And even then, everyone has a different method to their facades that may change based on the situation or people around.
That being said, one prominent example of this that can come across as blatantly offensive if not followed is common courtesy. Basically, it’s certain actions someone does to be polite or play nice. For instance, you greet guests at your home and say “thank you” if someone does you a favor.
If you think about it, most, if not all actions have the ability to be driven by ulterior motives or just a desire to offer common courtesy. Rather than doing it because you simply want to. After all, we may be sharing a society, but the why and how we do things can be quite dependent on who we are as individuals.
So, which actions do tend to be common courtesy?
What things do we only do for those we care about?
And what things do we forsake when it comes to the worst of the worst?
These are the real questions I think we should be asking ourselves. Even more so, as a society. Because think about it, how can I otherwise understand the nuances in discussions over racism, the wealth gap, and more? It’s not just the concepts that are complicated, but how people perceive situations involving them and how they discuss them.
[If you disagree, consider how often people in discussions are written off as “trolls,” or worse. Yet, what are the chances each person those words are targeted at is simply that and never someone who is truly trying to understand the other side? You can call someone a racist until the cows come home and it can even be justified (if not help you maintain your peace of mind), but I doubt it’ll change their views.]
It’s more like…
Anyway, after wondering about society’s expectations and how we accommodate, I came up with this:
Quick explanation: I picked a few actions that people are likely to do or I often seen described as “obligatory.” And then I placed them on a graph that’s separated into three sections: “bad graces,” “…” and “good graces.” Each section reflects a different level of dislike to like. Because to me, common courtesy is about what happens when you dislike someone as well as when they’re one of your favorite people.
Now just to be clear, I kept things simple this time. So, I didn’t go the extra mile and make several comparison graphs. Still try and remember there are so many options. For some people, their “Good Graces” section might be lengthy. Others mostly rely on a “…” meter and may sporadically do things. Again, there are many options.
And that’s about it. Again, common courtesy isn’t as simple as society makes it out to be. Hey, some things probably aren’t even that common. As usual, it’s more dependent on your perspective than being something set in stone.