Alternate Title: Life is like a book and conversations are short stories
Usually, when I post on here, it’s because there’s something particular going on in my life. Or a Reoccurring Thought (RT) I’m trying to get rid of. And so I spend hours crafting a theory and drafting hundreds of words that I may reflect on later and/or someone else might benefit from.
But, sometimes I just want to transcribe something simple. This is one of those moments.
Be real with yourself
If you read anything I’ve posted before, you probably assume that I have, or had at one point, difficulty understanding other people.
And you would be right. [Because anyone that spends as much time as I do analyzing how different people perceive the world and then creates their own terms and theories, probably doesn’t socialize as naturally as the average person.]
That being said, I think I’ve done a fairly good job of figuring out a way to understand and exist in a world that thrives on socializing and emotions, two things that I’ve always struggled with. Essentially, if you can’t learn to think or behave like everyone else, then don’t. Instead, find a way that’s in tune with who you are and allows you to exist well enough alongside the status quo.
[Basically, find or make an analogy, method, or whatever that suits you and gives you a decent connection to the status quo (aka the perceived standard).]
Allow me to offer an example.
The remaining part of this post shows how I go through conversations. Basically, I tend to process discussions as if it’s storytime. And yes, I’m being legit. [Luckily, in most situations this happens subconsciously for me now.] It may sound silly or absurd. But, it’s my method for making up for having a limited understanding of emotions and social cues.
Person X has relationships issues?
First: Try to analyze what kind of story and cast are involved.
- What do they care about? [What’s their character description?]
- What is the “normal” situation and how do their issues compare? [What style of the romance genre is this and are there any surprising twists?]
- Are they considerate and aware of their own needs and behavior as well as the other person or people? [Are they a reliable narrator?]
- What are the big issues vs secondary issues? And how do they compare? [Is the main plot really what matters the most or some tiny detail?]
Secondly: Try to gauge the direction of a conversation. [Is it a story that properly concludes or is it left open-ended?] Open-ended conversations are usually more “get it off my chest” than “I need you to help me resolve this.” Also, because they might naturally be episodic conversations, you might not get a real understanding of the issue until even the second or third discussion.
Lastly: Rather than try and figure out specific emotions (unless the conversation calls for it), try and vaguely determine where Person X views the issues on a positive vs negative scale. [Is it like Romeo and Juliet and things are going to be tragic? Or is it more awkward high school romance and it won’t matter in a few months as they adjust or move on?]
I believe that most people don’t painstakingly analyze a story beyond if they like it and if it kinda made sense. The same can be said about how you respond to their problems. If you kinda make sense, seem to listen to what they’re trying to say, and can somewhat articulate yourself, then in my experience things tend to go okay.
Remember, if you’re ever at a lost when someone is telling you about their problems, just think of it as storytime.
That about covers the first installment of this section of aMoI. So, yeah.
If you’re having a lot of difficulty figuring out something related to society or just people in general, then try breaking it down. What’s the problem? Can you relate it to something you do understand? Sometimes you have to think out of the box even if it’s for something that’s common or “everybody understands.” And that’s perfectly fine.